When you listen to a song, there's a story that goes along with it. The story you see is not the story the person next to you sees, because it's your story. We have this inherent need to feel as though something relates to us, we seek out familiarity. I used to do this all the time- I used to feel the connection to just about any song I heard on the radio. Now, I'm older, wiser, and, no, I don't always feel connected to music, especially if it doesn't seem remotely related to my life at all (ie- Low by Florida). But there are some songs that bring up images and memories.
I associate various stages of my life to music- specific artists and songs especially. When I lived in my first house, I see everything in the layout perfectly (I mean, after all, I pretty much spent eight years there, why wouldn't I remember it perfectly?). And if I had to tell you what music I thought of when I thought of my first house, I would easily tell you that the first artist that came to mind was 'N Sync, followed shortly by the Backstreet Boys. I was obsessed, even when I was little and all of the lyrics went over my head. And when we moved out of that house, my taste in music seemed to change more drastically. My family got into Christian music, specifically Third Day, Mercy Me, and Steven Curtis Chapman.
And when I came to Oklahoma at age 9? It stayed the same up until I hit sixth grade, then it was all about Thousand Foot Krutch, TobyMac, and Skillet. "Phenomenon" by Thousand Foot Krutch was easily my favorite song of all time at that point, but even that started to get overshadows by various other artists. I got into Linkin Park at this stage, branched off of all Christian bands, and sort of delved into artists like Breaking Benjamin and Nickleback. Seventh grade, it was Linkin Park's "Lying From You". Eight grade, it was Nickleback's "Hero". And upon entering high school, my music taste changed from rock to upbeat artists like Cascada or D.H.T. or Daft Punk. If you wanted the specific song that was very popular my freshman year, it would've been Cascada's "Everytime We Touch"- which was always, no matter what, sung on the bus going from the school to any given football game.
Music had always been a major factor in how I shaped my life. If I could have my way, there would be background music for pretty much anything I do in my life. Personally, I found that music seems to cause a greater impact on certain situations. And, I've found that my iPod likes to be particularly ironic when it's on shuffle mode.
There are songs that I can't listen to without it reminding me of something else. And, maybe even that 'something else' has made me hate the song itself. But I guess that the song is only guilty by association.
When I listen to "Party All the Time" by the Black Eyed Peas, I think of this past summer, 2010. It reminds me of shorts, running around in tank tops until our backs were sun burnt and bubbled. It reminds me of when I dyed my hair blue, when we spent the days driving all around Edmond in Ifill's car. When we lived at Orange Leaf and Buffalo Wild Wings, and we had bonfires seemingly every other week. It reminds me of the evening air, the sound of cars driving on paved roads, the sight of the sun dipping below the horizon, and my dad sending me frantic text messages around 9 to see if I was coming home.
"Without You" by 3 Doors Down reminds me of band camp my junior year- all the dirty jokes and meeting so many new people. I think it was because that year, I was home alone during that entire week and I kept listening to that song. It wasn't that I didn't mind being home alone. It got quiet, but I would always listen to music to keep the silence at bay. 3 Doors Down kept popping up on shuffle that year, and "Without You" kept getting stuck in my head.
Aerosmith in general reminds me of my mother, because she would always have their greatest hits playing in her van whenever she would pick me up from school. She would always sing along, and I swear we had that CD playing in that car on loop for two years before we took it out. Specifically, I recall sitting at the bank for thirty minutes one time in my mom's gold van, listening to songs like "The Other Side" and "Livin' on The Edge" and "Deuces Are Wild".
"Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" by Journey played at a Sonic after one of my breakups with a boyfriend, and that song just never felt the same to me. I can't listen to it anymore. I don't even like seeing it on my iPod.
"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen reminds me of many things, specifically my freshman year band banquet, where Jonny Cox, Woodson Garman, Andy Gibson, and Matt Polito all stood in front of the DJ at the dance and sang at the top of their lungs, arms interlocked, and swaying back and forth. And after that, I had to help carry on the tradition. Now, more clearly, I see images of doing this with Ifill, Jon, Amanda, Jeff, and Kylee in front of Orange Leaf in the parking lot. I still see the odd looks we received that summer day. I still smell the fresh air and I can still see the evening, dark blue sky.
"Smooth" by Santana and Rob Thomas will forever remind me of the cruise to Alaska, because that was the first song I heard on the ship from their band. And that continued to play that song throughout the remainder of the trip. I can hear the guitar and still see the placid, freezing ocean, the mother seals with their pups, and the icebergs that littered the great, vast blue. And I can still taste the 'All You Can Eat' free ice cream.
"Hide And Seek" by Imogean Heap will remind me of my junior year of marching season because that was the only song the people leading stretch would ever really play. And, at first, I'll admit, I was not entirely keen on this song, but it was great for meditating and thinking. And, for my sophomore year, the song they played was "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. Particularly during OBA, we stretched in the grass, far from the rest of the bands, and we listened to the song. People passing by stared at us, but we didn't care. I personally thought we looked incredibly badass, but that was just me.
Breaking Benjamin's "Into the Nothing", reminds me of the trip to L.A. with the band. Specifically, it reminds, even torments me as I recall being forced against my will into a haunted house. They had lied when they told me it was a roller coaster. There was just no closing your eyes and waiting it out for this one. It was a danger zone. But another story for another time.
When I recall previous schemes and shenanigans, the music that plays in my mind's labyrinth (because it is very much a labyrinth), is Pink's "Trouble". And, surprisingly enough, you would find that those lyrics are incredibly accurate to portions of my lifestyle.
And there are things like "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven and "Hey Jude" by the Beatles that I try and try to forget, but no matter what happens, I keep remembering. And it's an entire shaker of salt in a gaping wound.
And when I hear "Memories" by Within Temptation, I'm taken back two years, to the girl with long, dark brown hair that was standing in front of the mirror in a white, button-up shirt under a dark jacket and black pants. Lightly painting on crimson lipstick, feeling nothing and seeing nothing in her own, solid green eyes as she prepared herself for her mother's funeral. And even now, I feel my throat is itchy, scratchy, maybe even with a lump somewhere.
So many stories, so little time. Little bits of a puzzle, still only half-completed, and the image still unknown. But it always gets clearer when I listen to music. And who knows what will happen years from now. Or what song I'll use to define my final year of high school.
No comments:
Post a Comment